Wow, The Time has Flown By

I somehow completely vagued out on the fact I had another whole blog, I’m not sure why I decided I needed more than one?! Thought I’d write a quick update here 🙂 I’m on my phone so it won’t be long. I’m in shock that it has almost been 2 years since I posted last. I’m honestly in shock. If you want further updates/ more frequent updates on all things me I suggest you pop over Here . 

In the mean time I’ll take the opportunity to reflect on the past few years! So if you haven’t already gathered or read any of my other blog posts, I’m a medical student, a third year (of 4) eek! My life unfortunately revolves around that single fact at the moment. Something I hoped would not become the case as my medical training progressed. Unfortunately, the intensity of the course and the study has dragged me into a place where I honestly don’t have much else going on in my life. I spent around 35 hours a week in a hospital and another 30ish at home studying. I feel guilty about taking a few hours off. The missed opportunity to cram more into my small and over saturated brain. And strangely enough, I still struggle to come up with the answers when questioned on the spot by consultants. I feel silly on a daily basis, although I’ve actually become accustomed to feeling stupid a lot of the time. It no longer bothers me when I know nothing or ask dumb questions. The sheer volume of information we are expected to know is impossible and that is something I’ve accepted. 

So Med school has been a challenging and personally growing time! Has it been easy? No! Have I sacrificed things? Yea, probably more than I like. Would I change it? Maybe stress less, but otherwise no. It’s days like today that remind me why I wanted medicine. The challenge (never ending) is rewarding. Today my diagnosis was right. Today I explained the physiology correctly to an anaesthetist. Today I was able to hold bowel and feel liver, and assist with hydrocoele removal. Today I got to hold an anxious patients hand before they went into an emergency surgery for their 4th different type of cancer in their lifetime. Today, I felt helpful to the theatre nurses and not just in their way. And you know what? Even though I made silly mistakes, looked dumb at points. I’m ok. I’m happy and I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. It’s a rollercoaster but the end destination will be worth it. 

So I look back at me 2 years ago.. insecure, perfectionistic, petrified of failing, unsure if I could or would succeed, and full of doubt. Here I am not as bothered by making mistakes, having a go or even succeeding. I can talk to patients, I make them laugh and I comfort them. I connect with these people in really vulnerable times. Something I was unsure I was capable of 6 months ago. I can’t imagine where I’ll be by the time I graduate next year. The personal growth is astounding and I’m very thankful for the opportunity.

As I come into exam season, I hope that I continue to be filled with hope and peace. 

After next week, I have a little break back home then 5 weeks of paediatrics, 1 week of wrap up, study week then exams. Exams consist of 2 written and an OSCE. I’m petrified! I’m keeping my eye on the prize that after exams, I’m moving back ‘home’ for a year and then after that it’s all electives then graduating. The end has suddenly become tangible.. it excites and scares me. But…. bring it on! This is what I signed up for after all!

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Down Days

I’m feeling down in the dumps today. I shouldn’t get carried away. It’s just been one day although I was feeling a bit like this yesterday but didn’t have a chance to dwell on it as I was busy. I want to cry. I don’t know why. I have no reason for it. Life is fine. Life is dandy. I’m just feeling like crap. I’m tired. Im lacking motivation to move. I want to curl up in a ball and disappear a while. I know what these are all signs of. I can’t do this again. I can’t afford to be in this place. Too much to do. Too much study. Too much of everything. 

It probably nothing, and it will probably pass by next week but I’m in need of a vent anyways.. Oh how I hope I snap out of it any minute now. 

This wasn’t even what I was planning to write on.. 

I’ve had a little freak out the past few days when I’ve been constantly reminded that I’ve put on weight. Up until this year, I’ve always been quite active. Uni was active when I wasn’t studying, work was active, coaching was really active and gave me opportunities to be extra active. I even managed to fit in some of my own activity outside of all those things. I was forced to be active pretty much. 

This year, I’m a sloth. I study, study and study more. I sit in lectures and I study. I bought a gym membership which I’ve used a few times but unfortunately I pay with the amount of pain afterwards. And not muscle pain from using muscles, I don’t mind that type but it’s the tibia carries on and I worry every time I push it I’m causing more irreparable damage. Unfortunately, I also had some of the worst pain I’ve ever had from it a few weeks ago. It had been building from 2 weeks on my feet at placement but one of those days I was at the vaccination clinic and I was squatting down to small children’s levels all day and stand back up again to get some blood flow to my feet! That evening and night I was in agony. It ached constantly with sharp pain when I moved it certain ways which I couldn’t work out what they were. It even woke me up a few times over the night. Although it recovered from that it was a little discouraging as due to the mostly sedentary lifestyle I’ve picked up I almost thought it was getting a bit better. Seems it’s not and it seems that it’s unavoidable with standing and squatting being something I’ll probably be doing quite often as a medical student especially when I move into the clinical years.

Well, thanks for reading my ranting and verbal diahorrea if you get this far! I actually feel better after it so you’ve helped me dear WordPress world! 

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Business Becomes a Reality

It’s official, my business is becoming a reality. In the best way possible.

For those who don’t know, I was in the process of starting up a personal training/ fitness business last year. Life got in the way and then I found out I got into medical school and was moving a 13 hours drive away so I put it on the back-burner as I didn’t feel it was appropriate to set something up only to leave a few months later.

Well as of last night, the show is back on the road. I’ve teamed up with another business as one of their small group instructors and a personal trainer. It’s outdoor fun fitness for women. Each month is themed and all the workouts revolve around the theme of the month! Sounds pretty cool. The owner is away for the whole of July, so I’ll be able to take on some of her classes then. She has vision for the business growing a lot more (as it will naturally in the Summer months anyways).

I’m pretty excited. Not only to be earning a bit of cash (life’s been a little rough on that front lately) but also finally using the degree I spent 4.5 years completing. It fits in perfectly with my (incredibly busy) schedule, which is even better. Never thought this day would come but here I am. I’m incredibly excited for the opportunity and can’t wait to journey the whole fitness thing out with some awesome gals in my region!

In other news, Med school is great. Loving learning, loving med in general. Pop over to my other blog for more of that here.

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Thoughts in the Night

Here I lie, wide awake. Thinking. Thinking about life and relationships and all those deep and meaningful things. 

I’m thinking about my current house, 4 med students living together, never met before we moved in. The dynamics are interesting, ok, not good. The main culprit is one individual whom comes across very combative and well plain know it all, never can be wrong. It drives me insane. I think the real issue I have is that the person stretches the truth and/or outright lies to make situations suit them self. 

Now, myself being an individual who highly values honesty, truth and openness, you may be able to see why it rubs me up the wrong way. This individual is incredibly secretive about everything and yet expects us to open up to them when it suits them. It feels like they are constantly on a power play where they need to be in control and when not make issues over the smallest things I suppose to bring a sense of control. I’ve analysed this situation a lot over the past few months.. Too much maybe. Today we find out through the grapevine that said person is looking at moving out. We confronted in a non confronting type of oh so the lease is coming to an end what’s people’s plans. It took some coaxing but this person did admit that they were looking on a purely ‘financial’ basis. This I know is not the truth as I’ve heard otherwise but I can let that one drop for now. Not to mention our house is incredibly cheap to live in. Besides the fact that we shouldn’t have found out through someone else, I do feel like there should have been more communication as with just about everything else I have had issues with. 

Anyways, it’s hard. There is a backlog of undealt with issues with this person. I have a very short fuse as a result. The person is incredibly defensive at the even tiniest inkling that they may be in the wrong. I’m lost as to how to deal with it. I don’t want to live with her. I want her to move out but she is ‘still considering it purely on financial basis’, apparently. If she decides to stay, I need to decide if I go then. That would suck. I like the dynamics of the rest of the house (mostly) and it would be a shame to move but sometimes for our sanity we have to. I know that I’m a reasonable person,  other people find me easy to live with. 

Sometimes, I do wonder if maybe the fact that I am quite secure in myself highlights her insecurities causing her to react like she does almost whenever I say something or offer any type of advice. I feel like after living out of home for 6 years and being the oldest in the house I actually can have some input into people’s live positively particularly when she has never lived out of home before. Maybe not everyone wants that or want to become a better person. Is that just me?

Life’s a journey…

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So you Want to be a Doctor? Medical School Applications (Australia)

Applying for medical school? Read this for some tips! Feel free toask for further advice also 🙂

Adventures of a Medical Student

keep calm study hard

It is that time of year again for those of you in Australia wanting to enter into a graduate medical school program. You are currently waiting for GAMSAT results, trying to forget that the results of the most important exam of your life so far are well on their way now. Applications open through the GEMSAS system very soon and some of the other now independent universities have already opened their applications (Usyd and Flinders) for 2016 entry. I know what it feels like! I’ve been there twice before and I don’t envy you guys going through it right now. I thought I’d share my words of wisdom on the whole process, based on my experience. Here goes…

  • Waiting sucks.. I know, I hate it. But it’s a long year of waiting, so get used to it as much as you can. If fact, right now I’m waiting for my…

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What to do when I’m Feeling Low?

Sharing here.. Input appreciated!

Adventures of a Medical Student

I’ve been feeling a little down the past few days. A little teary over nothing and just wanting to be by myself all the time. I’m feeling fatigued and tired and wish I could just stay in bed all day. I can’t concentrate when I want to yet the workload doesn’t stop so this is not really an option. I have to push through but I’m really struggling to do so.

I gave in to my feelings this afternoon and layed in bed and watched a movie. Didn’t make me feel any better and when I went back to studying I still couldn’t kick my brain into gear. It just doesn’t care right now about respiratory acidosis and alkalosis! Does yours?

Anyone out there have any tips? I’m feeling stuck and yet if I’m stuck for too long it will become to hard to climb out again! I knew I…

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I’m alive still.. I promise. I’ve been posting Here regularly so check it out. 

Life in general is good. Time is flying by, scary. 

Transitioning to being in a completely new part of the country has been interesting and I’m now starting to feel more settled. I don’t feel like I have the balance quite right between study and otherwise but I have plans to fix that over the next few weeks. I was definitely starting to get to the end of myself at the end on last term but a holiday and time off from study has definitely helped me to feel more energised again. Reminds me once again the importance of rest. My brain was wanting a break and is thanking me!!! Hehe..

It’s hard to separate my life from medical school as medical schools has this tendency to overtake your life. I study 8+ hours most days, I moved to a new area where I am knew no one but medical students, and area which is lacking in other entertainment to begin with! I really need to get moving more and start exercising but with injuries, that is complicated. I’m unsure whether to just take antiinflammatories and ignore the pain for the purpose of feeling better, physically and emotionally. I’m now starting to get a painful lower back from the prolonged sitting. I’ve noticed, a change in my posture which I think is attributing to the pain. My exercise physiology training is starting to show through as I start prescribing myself exercises to combat it! Handy! Now to try and actually do it regularly…

So that’s a quick update. There will be more. I need some more accountability on the exercise front! I know better…

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